Us

 

Super unglam, just damn goofy - but that’s us. Who says wedding photos have to be all prim and proper?

女王，败犬

在看完第30集后的三分钟，竟然有些失落。看完后的两个礼拜，想写，但是懒惰。

最近脑子有点不太灵光，想不出什么美丽的诗句，太久没用中文，满脑子只想着应该画什么样的graph-fu或chart-to…或是这片墙壁应该paint什么颜色，马桶应该放在厕所里的哪个角落。

凡夫俗子，就是常常把小事看成大事，然后就是偏偏有太多处理不完的小事。
忙盲茫。

Anyway. 这出剧集给了我很多的震撼。

我一直相信，好的剧本是必须建立在矛盾与冲突上的。

33岁的单无双，女强人、工作狂、时而聪明，时而糊涂、可以很强悍也可以很温柔、不认输不喊痛、不喜欢道歉不擅长解释。
围绕着她的是小她8岁的卢卡斯，还有让她苦等了6年的学长宋允浩。

8岁。可以是两个没有交叉的圆圈，倒过来看，又可以是infinity – 无限的可能。

喜欢这两种爱情的对照。
学长的爱，很内炼。淡淡的，看似平静却又好深刻。
卢卡斯的爱，很坦率。坦荡荡的，不顾一切。

喜欢他们的一段对话：

卢卡斯：你这样说来就来，想走就走，你的爱情也太诡异了。
学长：那你呢？冲动无礼，炫耀又盲目， 你的爱情会不会太有压力了？

从来没有想过，爱情可以用诡异来形容。但真的，是有的。
也许并不是他不爱你，而是你就是没有办法了解他爱你的方式。
那种将你呼之则来，挥之则去的所谓爱情，真的有一种刺骨的诡异。
模棱两可，痛。

然而过于外放的爱，也是一种痛。
因为心疼。因为知道自己可能永远没有办法做到，跟他一样的爱。

单无双原本选择学长，因为责任也因为习惯。
而学长却很明白，爱不是把美丽的玫瑰花从花丛中拔出来占为己有，而是让它留下来继续茁壮成长。
卢卡斯呢？坚定不移，很努力地弥补8年的差距。

原来爱，可以是放手，也可以是不放手。

痛，要喊。这样，别人才会对你温柔一点。
这是卢卡斯对单无双说的。

我没有这么想过。
我一直觉得不能喊痛，不能流泪，因为不可以软弱，不可以认输。

记得很久以前大学的Freshmen Orientation Camp，大伙儿因为一个挺无聊的假闹失踪事件哭成一团。
有男朋友的就哭倒在男友怀里，没男朋友的就抱在一起痛苦。
我没有哭，因为实在太无聊了，我哭不出来。但我也很纳闷，为什么就是没有人来安慰我。

上一段诡异的恋情过后，我常常问自己，为什么他会这么做，这是我应该得到的对待吗？
最后我明白了。
没被疼爱，并不是因为不值得被疼爱，只是因为看起来不需要被疼爱。
逞强的后果，其实更痛。

因为你值得被真心对待。
又是卢卡斯说的。

有些女人傻傻的，把逆来顺受误以为是善解人意。
明明是对方对不起她，或不爱她了，却认定一定是自己哪里做得不好，或者哪里做错了。

没有答案的问题，却沉迷于追问。
歇斯底里，很痛。

*** *** *** ***

爱情是一段延绵不断的旅程。
有的人不断更换身边的伴侣，有的人始终如一。

一路上也许山崩地裂，也许崎岖不平，也许风平浪静。
有时漫无目的，有时穷追不舍，有时疲惫得想放弃。

有的人贪婪地想把所有看过的风景、经过的路、握过的手，牢牢地锁在身边。
有的人却不留痕迹，不带走一片云彩。

迷路了、走累了，可以回头看，但不能往回走。
因为事过境迁，物是人非，人是物非。
回不去的。

最后带着用伤痛换来的微笑，继续往前走。

人因梦想而伟大，因爱情而长大。
要受过伤，才会有再站起来的勇气。

因为理想，所以出走。
因为放手，所以富有。

因为了解，所以自由。

Back

It has been a really fruitful trip.  It is the first time I spent an entire week in Korea (usually it’s just 3-4 days), and everyday has been jam-packed with meetings, store checks and focus groups.

I made a presentation to  the Korea team on Thursday. Talked for about 25 minutes using just one summary slide.
I must have internalized all the information as I worked on all the slides – I just talked, gave figures, elaborated on each point without having to refer to any notes.
The Korea marketing director told me she learnt a lot from my presentation, and the brand manager came to me later and said she thought I had presented very well.
Really happy!!

Oh, and I have a new idol – the moderator we used for our focus groups. She is 40 but looks like she’s only 30. She’s not a typical beauty, but she dresses really well, regardless of season (we saw her in summer when we were here in early July). Her skin is totally flawless. In fact, I think she has no pores! Haha. And she talks gently, with an air of sophistication and elegance.

I was having a briefing with her and the asst brand manager, this Aussie-Sri Lankan guy. When she left the room, I told him, “I wish I would be like her when I’m 40.”
He went, “Well, I wish my wife would be like her when she’s 40.”
Haha.

In fact he had such a major crush on her, even though she is, what, 11 years his senior, that it became really obvious on the final day of the research. His manager and I just couldn’t stop laughing and teasing him on the way back to the hotel.

His manager described his look as ‘yearning’, which was really quite funny.
I just thought he had this silly grin the whole time she was talking, and he looked completely mesmerized by her.
“I have no idea what she’s talking about, it just sounds really nice,” he confessed.

Come Friday, the final few hours in Seoul were spent in a part-peaceful, part-frenzy manner.

There were no meetings on Friday – the big bosses left for Singapore early in the morning, and the asst brand manager and I decided we were both too fried to have any serious meeting on Friday.

I woke up without the alarm clock, took my time washing up, and had a nice, unhurried breakfast at the hotel cafe.
Checked my work emails, did some work, packed up a bit, before going to Gangnam for some quick shopping.

Gangnam is, according to the locals, somewhat like the Orchard road of Singapore, and only 5 minutes by cab from the hotel!
Despite coming from a so-called prestigious brand, I simply love buying the cheap masks from Facesh0p and Skin-f00d. One piece of mask retails between $3.30 to $5 in Singapore depending on the type you get, but only 1,000KRW to 2,000KRW in Korea. That’s S$1.33 to S$2.66 – one third of the retail price in Singapore!
Cosmetics from Facesh0p are pretty cheap too, so I got a few for my sisters, a colleague who gave me her ‘orders’ and for myself.
Also got some creams a friend asked me to get for her.

I couldn’t buy too much, for my luggage was already full before I got to Korea. All the winter clothing lah.

It was a tad difficult communicating with the Korean shop assistants – had to do a lot of gesturing, haha. Nonetheless it was fun shopping alone!  I spent nearly S$150 in just an hour, which was really quite liberating.

Then, it was back to the hotel, which just 30 minutes left  before the stipulated check-out time.
Which I spent wrestling with my luggage - it just wouldn’t close!!

I gave up, for it was already 3pm, and I was supposed to check out at 3pm. -____-”

I packed a third bag, which was kindly given to me by the shop assistant in the last shop i visited. Seeing that I was already carrying three separate bags, she gave me a huge recycle bag and helped me put all the stuff in. How nice!

And then it was a long, 2 hour bus ride to the airport, a little shopping at the DFS (couldn’t do much, since my arms were really aching by then), and a quiet time at a cafe.
I’d wanted to go for a quick shoulder massage, so I walked over to a massage shop – in their service menu, there was body massage, foot massage.. but I couldn’t find any shoulder or even head massage. I found it eventually; they called it ‘chair massage’. Haha. I didn’t know chairs need massage. ^^

And it was time to board the plane.

The ride wasn’t too pleasant; I found myself in a mini little-india section.
There was no one in the middle seat beside mine, but an old indian lady sat next to the empty seat - she snored almost the whole time and I had to turn away because of the vague scent of strange spices.
An indian couple with a noisy toddler (assume it’s a girl, coz i can’t really tell) sat in the same row, next to the old lady, and the toddler wouldn’t stop wailing. I said wailing, but she was really WAILING, not merely crying – for at least half of the flight duration. She was not wailing because she was not feeling well; it was simply for attention. She would wail, stop to rest for 10 seconds, and wail again. 
 Her parents did nothing to console her, and at some point simply left their child in the seat, wanting to ignore her.
At one point, I really wanted to lock the toddler in the toilet!
Lack of sleep lah, I’m equally cranky. If I wanted to WAIL like this, I would have won the competition.
I hate parents like this. I hate babies like this.

Touched down at 1am and it was 2am when the bf finally got us home.

Anyway.. it’s good to be back.