Headed over to paragon after physiotherapy yesterday to look for a national day celebration outfit for the little boss.

They are supposed to be dressed in red and white, and I realised that due to my personal preference she doesn't have any red outfit. πŸ˜‚

Found something she'd definitely like.
I've lost count of the number of Mickey/Minnie Mouse t-shirts she has. And skorts areπŸ‘since she prefers to wear the pants.

Bought a romper for Meimei because there's a discount if I buy 3 pieces. πŸ˜…

Romper looks big because it's 6-12M.
Can wear from loose/long pants style to fitting/shorts style. πŸ˜‚

I showed the little boss her new t-shirt and she was so happy she tried to imitate the kissing pose.

She also showed her Daddy excitedly, "This is Clarissa's t-shirt, this is Meimei's. I also have Minnie Mouse!"

Sis #4 bought us Swiss rolls!

We mixed and matched 3 different flavours.

Good stuff!

In today's random tantrum episode, she cried non-stop after spilling her meds on the floor.

Our helper was feeding her but she tried to snatch the bottle over.

She cried like someone'd bullied her and Daddy had to carry her around the house to calm her down before she said sorry to our helper.

And then she ran back to her room and said to her toys:

Hello everyone! I finished crying already!


Ah-ma offered her a banana after she finished her lunch.

She took the banana and sat on a stool beside Daddy to eat it.

One big one small, so cute together.

And she finished the entire banana on her own!

This is a good week for fruits.

She usually takes 3 bites and passes the remaining back to me.

Major tantrum after swimming though, which left Daddy super mad and refusing to respond even after she apologized. πŸ˜₯

I guess she was tired, because she only took two very short naps.. a total of 25 minutes max, and she woke up at 620am this morning.

We were originally planning to head to expo directly after the swim but decided to go home first.

The hubs' needed a change in clothes because his pants were all wet from showering the bubs.

And the bubs.. really needed a nap. πŸ˜‚

So we went out after she fell asleep.

Dropped by Mr bean to get ice cream for both of us.
This weather really makes people angry!

Off we went to expo, where the hubs went on a shopping spree at the Under Armour and Puma sale. πŸ˜‚

My stamina is really quite bad because halfway through Puma, my back and hips were already hurting.

It was the same yesterday, when I walked from Shaw Centre to Paragon to shop for the little one's clothes. I actually limped my way out of the cab after that.

And that was after physiotherapy so I imagined it to be worse if it happened on a regular work day.

But anyway I tried to keep walking and pausing to do the counter-exercise that the therapist taught me.

We also checked out the Harvey Norman sale, contemplated getting a new TV / Dyson fan / Electric kettle but walked out empty handed.

At this point my back and hips have almost collapsed so I'm sitting in the car doing exercises and Dayre-ing while waiting for the hubs to pack dinner.

I think.. I should stick to online shopping. πŸ˜‚

I remember the 2nd trimester to be quite easy. I could even do brisk walking on the running track back then!

So this is very frustrating.

Not only for me but also people close to me, like the hubs.

Sometimes I wonder if he's secretly rolling his eyes when I wince in pain over a very slight shift in position.
Or when I request for yet another back rub.

About a boy

I've avoided talking about this, because it's rather sensitive and it makes me sensitive too.

One of the hottest questions people ask me when they learn about our second pregnancy is, "Boy or girl!"

Now obviously I know that the norm would be to want a boy, since our firstborn is a girl.

I don't mind the gender really, because I'm happy as long as the baby is healthy and that the two kids get along well and are close to each other.

We knew about the gender quite early in the pregnancy because we opted to do the panorama test.

I received the call from the clinic after picking Clarissa up from school. We were at the door and she was talking to me about something.

I was sure I heard "girl" but I wasn't super sure either. πŸ˜‚

But I was, still am, very thrilled.
A girl!
Imagine all the sisterly things they can do together.

I grew up with my sisters so I wasn't sure what having a boy would be like.

The hubs didn't hide his disappointment.

He has always wanted a boy, because, male bonding and all. They can play basketball together.

But I said to him before that what matters is that the kids bond. Girls can play basketball with him too.

He asked if I was open to having a third one.

1) I was barely halfway through the second pregnancy, which was already proving to be tough
2) No guarantee a third one would be a boy

3) I need to have my body back
4) I don't think I can do the whole pregnancy and nursing/pumping gig when I'm 40
5) I'm good with two

So I said, no.

To be honest I felt a little sad after the conversation.

Rationally I know it didn't mean he'd love xbb any less, but still it stung.

He said he'd always wanted a boy so they could do all the manly stuff together. I guess "always" means it's not a thought that's easy to change.


He's not the only one.

My own parents have always wanted a boy. They spent almost 20 years trying to get one.

And they have 5 girls.

So I knew all hopes are on us and our second child, that finally, another chance to have a boy in the family.

They love Clarissa a lot, and wanting a boy would not undermine that.
But what can I say, except that life-long dreams are hard to give up on?

My mom has always asked me to have a second child soon, must have a boy and even tried to give me tips about how to have a boy.

Such irony, coming from a mother to 5 girls.

She was very eager about knowing xbb's gender so I was very careful about breaking the news to her because I didn't want to be angry at her reaction.

I'd imagined that her face would probably fall a little and she'd tell me things like oh nevermind, go for a third one.
And I'd probably get angry at this point.

So I told her a white lie about not knowing the gender yet, and instead said to her that I really wanted a girl.

Because I'm doing this for Clarissa, so she has a companion she can love and who'd love her back. And a sister would be perfect.

Moreover I'm not young anymore and I don't wish to still be giving birth and running after little kids when I'm 40.

Everything I said was really from the bottom of my heart, and I guess she felt it too.

She only said, I think your in-laws would love a boy, but yes I think 2 girls are good. If that's your wish, then I hope your second one is a girl too.

I was surprised by her reaction.
Such maturity! πŸ˜‚

Yet the reason why I started writing this entry today is because of what she said to the hubs in private yesterday.

She said he should persuade me to have 2 more children, in fact, 2 more boys.

Because 2 girls are good, and having 1 boy after 2 girls would be sad for the boy (to be the only boy). So 2 girls and 2 boys are the best.

Wow that really escalated quickly.

Just trying for one is not enough.
Now we need two?
I need to keep giving birth until I'm 45?

And how would I know for sure they would be boys?

How about, no?

Again, rationally I know she means no harm (I can't say she means well), because she's still very concerned about my wellbeing and still making birds nest and stuff despite knowing that xbb is a girl.

It's just.
I can't even?

My FIL did not ask about the gender.
Hahaha in fact he did not even ask much about the pregnancy.

Maybe it's because he'd already found out from the relatives, but I didn't get a sense that he really, really wanted a grandson.

We told the hubs' grandma about the baby and her gender at the same time.

And she actually asked us indignantly, "Who said it's a girl?!"

"Erm, the doctor?" was the hubs' response.

I don't think the hubs' family has any strong opinion about this.

But who knows, someone might start telling me to try for a boy after xbb arrives.

Honestly this gets tiring.

I'm almost scared of seeing other people's response when they ask about the gender.

In the beginning I'd even over compensate by sounding extra chirpy when I announce to them, "It's a girl! We have 2 girls! Isn't it wonderful?"

It genuinely felt wonderful but the more enthusiastic I sounded to make up for the fallen or lost faces who seem to want to console me, the more I felt like maybe I minded too.

So I stopped adding any tone of excitement and merely informed as politely as I could, oh it's a girl. yes we have 2 girls.

Still it didn't stop people from saying oh, I thought boy. then complete already. can close shop.

Of course it depends on who said it.
Some people I minded, a few I didn't.

But I can't help but question why?

Why is a family more "complete" when there is a boy and a girl?

I feel that our little family is complete with Clarissa. And now I feel equally complete with Meimei joining our family.

While I know that there is never going to be true gender equality, I'm still disheartened to know that there are people who thinks I need a boy to complete my family.

It's not about the gender, not about the number of people in the family, but about how much we love and nurture our kid(s) as parents, and how much love and respect we give and show one another as a family.

That's what makes a family complete.

On to other lighter news.

This girl cried when we got home. πŸ˜‚
Upset that we left her at home so she hugged me and kept crying. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Fortunately she got better after some Daddy story telling time, and even helped him open up his new purchases.

She loves the jersey and claims that it's her jacket. πŸ˜‚

I wanted to take a picture of her and she insisted that Daddy put on his new compression pants to take pictures together. πŸ˜‚


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