Spent the morning reorganizing her toys.

We got this set from Ikea together with Meimei's furniture last month.

Very roughly organised her toys then but with more toys now there is a need to find more room.

I've known this for a while now but I can confirm today that our helper is not very good at organising. The trays were in a mess. 😂

I threw away more than half of her empty surprise egg shells. 🙊

But I kept one of each color and filled the shopping trolley by putting each egg together.

So she won't notice the difference. 😂

Took a shower, rested in bed, went down to buy lunch, had lunch.. and went on to Part 2 of making space.

This time for the study room cabinet because she has more books now.

Also known for a while now, but confirmed today that the previous helper is very superficial in housekeeping.

Her method is to chuck everything into any empty space she can find in the cupboard. So the outside looks ok, but the inside is shit. Just mountains of unorganized stuff which get forgotten.

Like this army cap the hubs has been looking for, since months ago..

Found here, together with Clarissa's artwork from school, blank paper, boxes of stuff.. all unrelated to one another.

I can't decide which is worse.

Clean outside, dirty inside?
Or dirty outside and inside?

The former is the previous helper's style. She packs things away very quickly and cleans our desks everyday.

She also looks at our letters and documents. Which I was aware of but didn't really do anything except to keep the really confidential documents away.

The current helper leaves things lying around, doesn't touch our desks at all and only cleans Clarissa's room.

Haha one intrusive and the other bochup.

I guess there is no perfect helper. 😅

Anyway I also opened up some of the hubs' Xmas presents since last year, removed stuff that shouldn't belong to the study room, threw out 3 bags of thrash.

Took pictures of Clarissa's artwork in school.. before throwing away those that didn't look like anything. 🙊🙊

Managed to get to two empty shelves for her books and toys! 💪💪

There is more to clear but my tummy and back were hurting by then, and I couldn't reach the bottom shelf.

Shall continue another day.

Tummy is super huge and bloated today so I'm feeling out of breath.

Had to lie down to rest while waiting for the little boss to come home from school.

38w +6d

We are going for the 39w check tomorrow, and it is also Clarissa's actual birthday.

Meimei's EDD is actually exactly a week after Clarissa's birthday.

I've managed to keep my angst in check these days by telling myself – I've already done this for 37/38/39 weeks, what's another 3/2/1 week(s)?

Less than 1.5 days to go and Meimei might very well be a November baby as per the original plan. 🤣

Some days are good, some days are bad.. and some days? Very bad.

Sometimes I dread nightfall and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a sinking feeling, knowing, without looking at the clock, that it is probably 2am.

I dread sitting alone in the toilet, in pain, and wondering if I should wake anyone up.

I guess this is all practice for the newborn days.

I remember going to bed at 10pm and feeling like crying because I knew I had to wake up in 2 hours' time to take over the hubs' shift.

I remember my me-time breaks where I walked to the mall alone to get breakfast/lunch.. and tearing while ordering takeaway from DTF, because I was so tired and so lost.

So I can't say which is worse, the physical discomfort (and mental stress) now, or the mental stress (and physical discomfort) later on.

I'm bracing myself for Round 2, but before I even get to the newborn days, I need to get past the delivery jitters.

I don't know about other mums, but childbirth is by far the scariest thing I've ever done.

And I'm still scared.

My "birth plan" then and now remains the same: 1) Get the baby out safely and 2) Get the damn epidural.

Haha I don't have any ideals about going intervention-free or drug-free, because wahlao, after carrying the baby in my tummy for 40 weeks (or more), it really does not matter whether I deliver pain-ful or pain-free, as long as the baby is healthy and safe.

But I'm still scared, because the uncertainties in the process are often beyond our imagination.

That's why I don't really like to give any advice on pregnancy or childbirth, because it's either you don't do it, or you just do it. 😂