Start somewhere

Back to school today.

Allie was so excited she exclaimed “WOW!” when her Yaya took her uniform out of the drawer this morning.

I thought she might cry a little or have some separation anxiety, since she missed school for 1 week + 1 day.

But she walked in and waited at the entrance for us to sort out some administrative stuff.

And then she turned to say goodbye to us happily with Clarissa.

I went for a rebonding + treatment + hair cut.

(Selfie only because the hubs asked and so I sheepishly took one, knowing how much he prefers long hair.. though it’s my hair. 😂😆)

4 hours, gosh.

It was hardly a pampering treat because my old bones were aching.

But I needed it. Tired of trying to sort out ny messy hair in the morning.

10 mins a day × 5 days a week × 26 weeks (assuming the rebonded effect lasts for 6 months) = 1,300 minutes = 21.67 hours

Yep, time well spent.

It’s the start of the new fiscal year at work, and I can’t say I’m raring to go.

In a week’s time, I’d have been with the company for 12 years.

I’m still picking up the jaded pieces of me that were shattered and scattered along the way.

I’m not sure what to think or how to think about it, so I’ll come back to it once I’ve sorted out my thinking.

For now I choose to be thankful to have the opportunity to work with many incredibly smart, talented and passionate people, and to have made a few good friends for life, friends I will stay in touch with even if we are no longer in the same company.

Someone told me I might be happier if I were not “Miss Nice Girl” all the time.

But maybe I’d be happier if I choose to focus on what’s truly important to me, and not waste time on things and people that don’t matter, and people who don’t think I matter.

I was searching for a photo of my FIL to send to the school, and came across this entry I wrote on FB.

The hubs thinks my FIL dotes on Allie more, but I think he loves Clarissa just as much. It’s just that Allie has a way of making him express his love more explicitly.

My FIL dropped by our place 15 minutes before the school bus came. He brought along a box of cake, which is Clarissa’s favourite. Watched TV for 10 minutes and headed down to the carpark with me to wait for the girls’ school bus.

He smiled indulgently as the bus pulled over and Allie’s blur face came into view. He said hello to the girls, and wanted to carry Allie. But Allie was too tired and only wanted to cling on to me. Still, he patted her hand, lifted her sleeve to check on the insect bite and was satisfied to see that it has subsided. He reminded Clarissa to eat the cake, and said goodbye to the girls before driving off.

What all these really mean, is: He drove for at least 45 minutes to see the girls for 10 minutes.

My heart aches a little, yet feels so full.

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